Opening Reception 7:00pm - 10:00pm
Music Provided by
Prince Paul
Ricky Powell aka The Funky Uncle
Smoke L.E.S.
Trouble Andrew
&
The Good Life! After Party
Santo’s Party House
100 Lafayette, NYC

10:00pm – 4:00am

PRESS RSVP: kwiseman@pitchcontrolpr.com

GENERAL RSVP: craigwetherby@pitchcontrolpr.com

vent Information:
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
7:00 PM - 10:00 PM
21+
cover: FREE

Venue Information:
Milk Gallery
450 West 15th St.
New York, NY

..I did a search for one of my old screen names on SearchMe.com and came across my old LiveJournal account. Totally spaced it out that I had it and I tried to log in with some of my most common passwords.

After 3 tries I was in. I wish everything in life was as easy as cracking my own livejournal account haha.

I read my old diary and I can tell you one thing. I was very unhappy back then. I wanted to post some of the entries but they are just too much. I am not that person anymore and by reading it I feel like I am in that position again, or that I will be judged for having been that person. I know there are millions of women out there that are where I used to be and I wish I could help them in any way.

Ok the funny part: I had my picture enlisted on HOTorNOT.COM and here are the results haha. That’s been such a long time ago!

Urijah Faber vs Mike Brown WEC 36 fight possible on September 10

whoohoo! I can’t wait! I’ll be home, on the couch with some wine, cheese and crackers

:)

- Posted using MobyPicture.com

- Posted using MobyPicture.com

… and those tears weren’t from sheer happiness or bliss, even though

• I’ve been trying to get back into the gym mode and have been doing pretty good! I am watching the food intake, work out hard and really feel good about it. I am documenting the progress on youtube.com haha! I mean, it’s helping me to stay on top of it.

• Anyway, this week I had some real exciting things happening to me, I can’t really talk a lot about it [yet] but am stoked!

• I am still home alone and loving it! Been having fun at  tRAMPcamp, been skating and just being positive.

Life’s been fun!

so what went wrong?

Well, still being so stoked on my newly re-discovered love for the gym I decided to go in early, go do cardio for about 30 minutes, do some weights and then go to KICKBOXING 4 BEGINNERS.

Notice the word “beginners” please.

So this kickboxing class is not one of those aerobics classes where you punch in the air and do some dance moves. This one is in a boxing gym setting: so boxing ring, boxing balls, and that little bell to tell you when the round finishes/ starts etc. The class consisted of 4 women and 3 guys and the coach.

I have been on boxing in South Beach at the South Florida Boxing Gym on Washington. I joined that gym right after I got beaten up badly and had TWO black eyes [from just one punch!] and had broken my tooth. I remember the day: the Monday after Easter Sunday. I decided that I needed to get my anger and frustration out and feel more empowered by being able to punch something. So I had a coach and all we did was me jabbin’ and punching while he was holding the focus pads and moving around. We would do that for the whole time, ’till I couldn’t go anymore. I was at that gym for about 10 sessions one on one in the ring with my coach.

So I sucked at the kickboxing class. I know, nothing new. I might be a bit challenged in the Athletic Department hahaha. Everything takes a long time for me to ‘get’. I am used to it and calculate it in, while always working hard  and keep on HAVING FUN in the process.

The coach’s approach was:

“you are pretty but that doesn’t matter. You are here to kickbox”

Nothing wrong with that. Thanks for the compliment! I am gonna give it my all! See me jump rope for 3 solid minutes on soft surface, doing jumping jacks, push ups… no problem!

But huh? What are you guys doing now?? I have never done that… let me try that!

Well, I did it wrong… so the coach is getting a bit smart/impatient and assumes I should get it right the first time. Ah well….

Then we did that thing that one person sits on the floor, legs + back straight, leaning back and has to catch that 6KG ball on one side and right away throw it back to the other person standing up. As usual. I sucked. I did it wrong. I shouldn’t  ‘CATCH’ the ball, I should have just grabbed it out of the air and thrown it back in one movement. I did not get it so I asked him to show me. Then he tells me that  “we [the 3 other women + me] would easily lose another 2 pounds if we would just stop fiddling around.”

What the fu*k ?

The guy has my full attention I am trying! Anyway, we did that ball thing 120 times [60 on each side] before changing positions.

Moving on to the jabbing and punching. Well, there wasn’t a lot he could say on that part, except to keep the left side of my face covered/ protected while throwing some right hooks.

OK… I get excited sometimes and forget to get block my face completely. I am trying hard and getting a very frustrated with the way he corrects me. Or actually the fact that he just tells me I do it wrong, but doesn’t show me how to get it right and then has the oddessity to expect me to get it right and if not… make me feel highly incompetent.

So yeah… his comment was:

“YOU WANNA KNOW WHY YOU ALWAYS GET BEAT UP BY YOUR BOYFRIENDS*? HUH? BECAUSE YOU DON’T COVER YOUR FACE”

WOW! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY JUST SAID THAT!

The fact that I was getting frustrated [very frustrated] with his approach to teaching me a new skill, him making me feel worthless for ‘not getting it right’ and to top it off, telling me WHY MY BOYFRIEND* WOULD BEAT ME UP a couple of times. Like it was justified because I wasn’t blocking my face all the time. Little did he know about my ex and things just hit home way too close.

This and the built up frustration made me wanted to cry right there on the spot, but I held it in. I was not going to let this happen. So I couldn’t talk loud because I would start to cry. So I tried so hard to speak up and say ‘2-1-1-1-STEP KICK 1-1-2-2-STEP-KICK’ but it was merely a whisper.

I needed a sip of water. So in between he yells at me ‘no water’ because that would make me cramp up. I know my body and I needed a SIP. My mouth was dry, I was upset and I just wanted to go. Leave and cry.

I didn’t. I stayed the full 1hr and 50 minutes. Thanked him and left, jumped on a cardio machine and listened to Optimus Rhyme. Trying to calm down. After ten minutes I went over to the desk, booked the tanning bed and broke down as soon as I closed the door. I cried. and cried… and then some… until my heart hurt.

I went home and cried some more. It was the first time in I think 8 months I cried and the first time I felt such pain since I left my ex husband.

I know I am strong. I own my own business, I have a positive attitude, I snowboard, attempt to downhill bike, skate, surf and am happy with my life. I am a happy person, I don’t hate my ex husband, I thought I made so much progress over the past years to become the person I knew I have always been. To be true to myself. Why could this stranger just break me like that?

Obviously I still have some issues to work on…

I am proud of not crying, to finish that class and not having walked out using the trainer as a justification for doing so. He obviously had no clue what I really felt.

He invited everyone to this bar in Ditmars on Saturday night to watch the fight. I will be there and I decided to talk with him when I see him there. Not to confront him, but to speak up for myself and possibly all the other women who suffer [ed] domestic abuse that have been | are in | will be in his kickboxing class. I don’t expect him to handle me with velvet gloves, I would love to learn to kick box, but he’s using the wrong approach to get me [and with me possibly other women as well] stoked on the sports. I expect mutual respect and him to pass on his passion and expertise for kickboxing. Not to be made feel imcompentent and stupid for not ‘getting it right’, have my spirit broken and told nonsense of justifying why I will get beaten up by my ‘boyfriend*’.

I feel good about being calm about it. I rationalized the situation instead of turning it into an emotional mess.

sent to me by NEIGHBOR to lift my spirits.

Cheers!

PS:

* I have no boyfriend and I will never ever give someone that kind of power over me again!

- Posted using MobyPicture.com

there are days that I just don’t feel like I am up to par with the rest of the world…

*sigh*

I hope it’ll be better tomorrow.

On the other hand…

This weekend will be fun again: [T]RAMP CAMP will be on again and I can’t wait to be snowboarding in NYC in Summer!

I am always on-line, messing around with different websites, signing up… seeing what they are all about etc. So one day I came across RidersVoice.com [ a site for snowboarders to rate/ review the boards they own/ ride ] and I created a profile and started rating my boards. A couple of days later I got a ‘thank you’ email from some dude from RidersVoice, I wrote back and we found out that we are practically neighbors. he lives about an eight minute walk from my place. I thought that was extremely random.

His nickname will be.. uh… Neighbor.

So yeah, Neighbor and I have been communicating, but seeing the fact that it was Winter and Winters are meant to be spent somewhere on a mountain and NOT in the City, we never met up until a couple of weeks ago. He’s cool. Italian, has two female roommates, works and is is into some of the same things I am really into. Basically… I am stoked to have a friend in my neighborhood that is of legal drinking age hahaha.

Last week he was planning on going to Mountain Creek, Vernon NJ to go downhill biking. He’d been asking me if I wanted to come along and I said “sure… no problem! I am Dutch and biking is in my blood”. I really did not foresee a lot of problems. I mean, I have been biking since I could walk and really, how hard could it really be to go DOWN hill? haha… In all fairness, I was expecting a nice leisurely nature bike ride.

WRONG!!

My first clue was when I saw what came with the bike rental: 

• a huge helmet, you know, covering the chin and all
• knee/ shin protection
• elbow/ arm guards
• gloves with the the knuckles covered in Teflon
• a plastic shield/ body armor covering my back / chest and shoulders.

Another dead giveaway: the place wasn’t called Mountain Creek for the Summer, no: it changed it’s name to DIABLO. Now… I don’t speak Spanish but I do know what Diablo means…

Still not too concerned I peddled around on the property and we decided to go up the lift. The same one I used to ride in Winter…  with my snowboard under my arm and a smile on my face. I don’t know what happened but I got scared shit-less! Seriously… I started to sweat and Neighbor became seriously worried that I was gonna choke up and cry.

We got off the lift and took the wrong trail. It has the same color/ shape coding as in the Winter. We ended up on a nice black one. All I saw were tree stumps, rocks, pebbles and stones, gravel and I just prayed to God and the Queen in Holland that I would survive.

I made it down and I sucked bad. I mean I seriously feared for my life. However, I was determined to get it down. After the 4th run I felt confident and was actually getting a bit braver, faster and secure in my riding/ braking and what not. I was smiling and thought I was the shit.

Last run: Neighbor thought it would be fun to take some ‘action shots’. For some reason I had this vision of me crashing on this part that consisted of just rock. I got so scared. I told myself to snap out of it and be confident. ‘It’s all in your mind girl’ I told myself. I passed that specific part of the run down and I was happy as the hippo. Next was the swirly park part and I felt like I could do it.. no problem…

Long story short. I crashed royally. Twice. Of course on the last run. On the Rocks… just like how I enjoy my drinks… I can tell from experience that that protection I wore… the body shield etc. really works! Neighbor looked so scared, I mean it must have looked pretty bad and truthfully… it hurt and I got super scared and I wanted to cry, but I knew that I had to get right back on that bike cuz otherwise I would never do it again… so that’s what I did.

I was stoked. I mean, I was scared, I got hurt and I didn’t let it stop me from trying something new. [well maybe the fact that there were hardly any women there and a ton of guys might have had something to do with it as well..]

Lesson: you are scared, you fall, you get up, you have fun, you fall, you are scared, you get back up and just do it again… with a smile, looking fabulous [not really haha] but feeling like a million dollars.

Tonic Bar on Times Square was jam packed with fellow Dutch Country Men/ Women. I had no idea there were that many in NYC… and even more amazing is that they all managed to get time off to go watch the game!

We beat the Italians! Oh yeah… we killed it!

Just Play It!

For the full effect of this posting and a better understanding to how I really feel… please crank up your volume and press PLAY!! And uh, just in case you wanted to sing along… here are the lyrics to the song:

Last night night was fight night: WEC on Versus, Urijah Faber vs Jens Pulver.

It was amazing! I mean I have been pretty hormonal over the last couple of days and I am telling you, I would love to wrestle with Urijah… IN MY BED!

Soooo, anyway, after watching the 5 rounds last night you can say I went to bed pretty wound up/ heated with California Kid Urijah on my mind… in fact I dreamt about him:

I dreamt I was driving to his house [we were friends already] and I was wearing my snowboard pants [??]. Urijah comes out on the drive way and looks me in the eyes, kisses me and takes me inside. He’s super nice and gives me a pair of socks [??]. I ended up in his bedroom watching TV while he trains in his gym. He comes and checks up on me every now and then, we make out in the bed and all I can think of his him f*ucking me. It doesn’t happen though… unfortunately. After a while I needed to go home and I went to say goodbye to him… some of my male friends are in his gym, hanging out with him and I asked Urijah what he was doing/ up to and he looked me in my eyes and told me that he was hoping that I would stay in his life and how lucky he was to have me. He had those amazing puppy eyes when he told me that and then we made out some more…

Then I woke up. Confused, not to mention extremely hot and bothered …feeling like a perv. Hahaha, I mean I still didn’t have sex… not in real life… hell, not even in my dreams!

So what I am to do? Will I put my supernetworking to use and start following him around like an insane stalker? hehehe, I already joined his myspace page and looked on youtube for all his interviews…. Nah, I think I’ll leave it as it is… a nice fantasy because he’s perfect in my dreams right now. I kind of want to hold on to that, because I don’t want him to end up like David Beckham! I mean I used to have a major crush on him but when I met him in real life and we actually spoke… his voice was so not how I imagined it… it was such a turn off, he got booted out of my fantasies!

*sigh*

It is pretty hard to be me!

Daily Horoscope for Aquarius
Today’s Date: May 31, 2008

The past was marvelous, but it’s done. Clear the way toward your future. Your actions of the next few days will lock in the best results.

Rating:   * * * * -
Intensity: 59%
Keywords: pithy, linear
Mood: well-behaved

Nice, am getting pretty excited for the future hehe! Seriously, have been getting back in ‘the groove’ and in a couple of days ‘Internet Week NY 2008′ will start and I am attending heaps of events. I hope to get inspired and maybe a new partner :)

The ten days went by rather fast. The wife’s coming back from Miami today! No more kid duty! This needs a party! Hahaha, the Penguins are playing tonight. They killed it the other day! The game was mindblowing and I expect a similar performance tonight!

I love the track ‘Handlebars‘, well actually the whole album of this group called “FloBots‘, their album is called ‘Fight with tools’

Some info on Flobots:

When a pair of intelligent, visionary emcees joins forces with a battle-hardened, groove-fusing rhythm section, a classically trained violist, and a jazz trumpet player, the result is a sound that explores and expands the frontiers of live hip-hop.  Progressive in both style and message, the band’s ability to drop from symphonic rock-infused crescendos into stripped-down string-laden breakbeats has earned Flobots a reputation for both originality and authenticity.  Armed with musicianship, intelligence, and an ingrained sense of rebellion, Flobots are looking to engage a new musical culture, one mind at a time. read more…

In February 2008, Flobots launched a project entitled “Street Team” which will allow them to put their socially and politically ripe lyrics into action. Brer Rabbit has said, “There are lots of things we can say theoretically about wanting to activate a population, but we are actually trying to create a real plan to allow people to be a positive force in the community.” Street Team allows volunteers to sign up to work on various projects throughout their community. Currently, Flobots have partnerships with Colorado Progressive Coalition, Student Peace Alliance, and Denver Children’s Home. The Flobots also have performed several free concerts at PeaceJam events. read more….

Other than that, oh… I had my bodyfat measured: 20.5% . I want to go down to 17 % so it’ll take some dedication… but like with snowboarding, I will be persistant and I will succeed!

The wife left a couple of days ago for Florida. She took the baby with her, leaving me with her 13 year old son. She’s gonna be gone for 10 days total. Her sister got a boob job and she went to Miami to take care of her. I want one as well! a boob job that is hahaha… I guess I am saving it for my 35th birthday. I love my wife and her kids, but it is kind of nice to have the whole house [almost] to myself and not to hear the baby scream and throw tantrums all day long.

Something strange is happening to me… I am kind of getting hormonal again and I am afraid that my dirty thirties are turning into a fact of life. I mean… I am trying my best to ignore my feelings, I work out in the gym, watch TV, write this blog, skate etc. but it keeps being on my mind… and I just can’t help it. I am going a bit crazy… argh.

I wish I was a bit more like the women described in the last post. I consider myself compulsive and pleasure seeking… hopefully one day my work will be my pleasure.

Anyway, I have been going to the gym religiously and trying to keep my food intake semi - healthy. It’s been challenging because my team “the Penguins” have been killing it in the playoffs so I’ve spent many evenings/ afternoons in the pub, drinking lots of ketel one’s and eating pub [not healthy] food. We made it to the Stanley Cup Finals and are playing Detroit!

Whoohoo! Go Pens !!!

Dove recently interviewed 500 women in their 20s and discovered that no matter how much they accomplish, millennial females rarely feel satisfied. On the one hand, consistently working towards that next level of success leads to persistence and ambition, which is great. On the other hand, a void of fulfillment brings along an enormous sense of inadequacy, which leads to lifelong dissatisfaction.

According to a report in The Arizona Republic:

Twenty-something women are more accomplished than ever before. More are climbing the corporate ladders and earning multiple graduate degrees, and this generation of women has opportunities that their mothers and grandmothers only dreamed about.But a new study by Dove and Columbia University also say these young women are so engrossed in having it all by the time they are 30, they are not fully enjoying what they achieve. These women are being pressured by their inner voice to keep pushing for the next goal. Nothing is ever good enough and accomplishments go unrewarded and unappreciated.

This perfection complex causes girls to “collect” experiences to bulk up their six-page resumes instead of simply experiencing life. As a college student, I witness this on a daily basis. Girls go from class, to work, to the library where they study until the early morning hours. Everyone is in a competition to get the highest grades, make the most money, and tout the busiest schedule. Leisure time is almost looked down upon, in a “Don’t you have anything productive to do?” kind of way.

Dove hopes to change the definition of “success” by ultimately convincing young women to enjoy the present moment instead of constantly focusing on next week, next month, and next year. We’ve seen Dove’s Fresh Takes series, and though the purpose is admirable, I’m hoping they have other tactics up their sleeves to reach out to teens. To get their message across, they need to infiltrate young girls’ lives in a way that 2-minute commercials shown during “The Hills” can’t.

Winter is over. I managed to get 62 days ON SNOW, meaning, I have been on a chairlift/ gondola on 62 different days this season. I realized that I’ll most likely won’t go pro any day soon. hehehe…. I did South Shore Soldiers for both sessions and it was a sad show. I just can’t seem to catch air and the times that I do… well… I blank out. I probably keep my eyes closed and think of the Queen of Holland. No air awareness whatsoever. I suck… it was the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over… expecting a different result.

Besides the fact that I got sick with the flu twice [first time at SIA and the second time right after Soldiers] I can consider myself pretty fortunate that my only ’snowboard related’ injuries consisted of :

• 2 mild concussions [Killington + Stratton]
• a deviated tailbone [got a lefty now]
• a neck that shows the classic shape of someone who had a whiplash [the chiro asked me if I had endured any kind of trauma to the neck/ head over the last couple of weeks... the chiro loves me hehe]

So now that Winter is officially over in my book… what will be the plan of action for Summer??

I got invited for TRAMP CAMP, starting June. Tramp Camp is done by some of the guys of the NYSG and consists of a huge trampoline, lots of beers, a grill and a couple of boxes/ fake snow. This will be a good way to get some well needed air awareness… the beers will def. help!

I also want to pick up skating again, as I pretty much haven’t touched it for the whole Winter. I mean, why would I risk getting injured on concrete while I can get injured on snow?? It’s time to whip out Mr. Dan Mc.Farlane’s ‘Skateboarding Explained’ DVD again.

I started my diet/ work out regime again and I am proud to say that I am at 124 pounds now and I intend to eat healthy and visit my gym on a daily basis. I want to get fit, lean and mean hehehe.

Oh, today I am meeting with my ‘4 hour workweek’ support group. I am pretty happy to say that I have been applying most of what the books says for the last year, I am just ready to find a way to actually do something in those four hours that will generate some income to fund my rest of the week activities!

Oh, been surfing for the first time ever!

I went to Vegas last week, to go see what gear I’ll be riding/ sporting next season. The show is called SIA  [ I still have no idea what those letters stand for ]. My wife tagged along and we were staying with the SouthShore Soldiers people in the Windham Suites.

It was fun, wasn’t it for the sad fact that I got super sick on Tuesday night and was hallucinating on the plane, popping mucinex and anti flu pills like they were m&m’s.

I bruised my tailbone on Monday when my new craigslist friend T told me that I should just ‘bomb’ that jump. Hahaha, that’s what I did and I landed it on my ass… and head. The helmet broke and my taibone bruised. It hurt.

Anyway, am in South Lake Tahoe since Friday and I have been riding every day. The more I ride, the more I realize that I really suck. Things are different out East.

The sex  situation: non existent… I think I might be getting a bit hormonal… been looking at guys more… maybe it’s the weather… I don’t know :)

+

=

my new set up! Woohoo! It’s sick!

I went to Mountain Creek a couple of weeks ago.

Mountain Creek is a hill in dirty New Jersey and they happen to have the biggest park out East. It’s only 1.5 hrs away from here and they have night riding! Woohoo!

It was a last minute thing; J. sent me a text message asking if I had anything better to do and the obvious answer was NO! So 2 hours later we were on our way to the Creek. Conditions were far from optimal, but really, I don’t care… I would ride it out in the City if I had the skills.

Anyway, J. wanted to do park, so that’s where we went, to ‘South’. It was bigger than last time and I was getting pretty excited. I had just widened my stance to 22 inches so I was ready to put it to the test. It worked, had to get used to it blah blah…

Sooo, to cut a very long story short… J. was resting (he’s a worse rider than I am) and I was exploring the newly opened trails by myself.

I am a pussy, I mean I am scared shitless when I think about the rails and my teeth… so I went on a baby box (progression box they call them I believe) and I did ok.. I didn’t fall, I went over it, no funny business, landed it and my imaginary cheerlead team was doing a little dance in my honor…

Next… I make a left, go on some other trail and realize that there is nobody else and started doing little butters (it’s night so not that busy as most kids have already been collected by mommy) all of a sudden I see this big kicker [chunk of ice] covering the WHOLE trail. I mean, it was big enough for me to consider taking of my snowboard and hiking back to my usual trail, I figured that would be my best bet. As I am bending over to unstrap… two little boys come flying ’round the corner and they hi 5′d for being there and getting ready to jump that bitch! I was kind of shocked…

I told them to go first and one did.

One down, one more to go… so I tell the other kid to go.

He refuses and tells me to go. By now I really felt the pressure and wanted to dissappear… I had no choice and I took a deep breath, though of our Queen in Holland and prayed for the best!I landed it (accidental) and all of a sudden I see another one of those monsters and I jumped it and landed that one as well! The two little boys turned into my real life cheerleading team and I felt pretty damn good.

Until…

One of them comes up and tells me that him and his buddy (I guess they were 14 and 17) had been wondering if I was ‘young‘ or an ‘older woman‘. I looked at them in sheer disbelief and answered that I was an ‘older woman.’

Of course they asked me my age… I said “30″ and they were pretty excited by that answer!

They asked me right away where [in the park] my kids were… I told them I had none. They seemed to be a bit thrown off by that answer, but recovered quickly by stating: “Woah! That is so awesome, you are THIRTY and you snowboard?? AND you ride Park??”

And then they took off… leaving me wondering what I should make of that comment… I decided that I needed a drink, you know… in the only old people’s place young kids would like to have access to… THE BAR.

not very impressing

 Sooo, it’s been like weeks since my last entry…

Sorry, I have been too busy snowboarding. It’s Winter! FINALLY!

There have been some major changes in my life or the way I feel:

* I have been snowboarding so much and just going down the mountain as fast as possible or with great form/style isn’t satisfying anymore. I want more. I never thought I was ever gonna feel like this, but I guess skateboarding over Summer and eating concrete has helped my snowboarding skills, so I can actually say that I am pretty confident that I have passed the beginners stage, moved on to the far intermediate stage…So I am moving on and will be hitting the park and learn new things. I want to BUTTER! It looks so much fun.

* I seriously believe that I am finally entering my dirty thirties, meaning, I am beginning to feel a bit hormonal. I noticed that I am checking out guys and wonder if they would be any good… Very disturbing, but on the other hand very comforting to know that I am not frigid or lesbian, as I started to doubt myself….

* My roommate’s other son is moving in tomorrow. He’s 13 and I know that this will be a major lifestyle adjustment. I am taking it day by day, trying not to worry too much.

* Workwise, nothing spectacular, having some communication problems with the developers. I am planning on creating a strong team, focusing on different aspects of the company and moving on to the next stage.

* I kissed a boy. He is 26 and lives in CT. I was drunk, no regrets though… he’s cute. I guess I had to get it out of my system. It was a Vegas night.

Other than that, getting ready for the Holidays, still no sugar daddy… hahaha, still playing the lottery.

OK, back to writing cards and packing an overnight bag, am off to California for two days… unfortunately I won’t be snowboarding…

“It’s knitting needles you want, not iPhones “

As adults discover Facebook and Second Life, the cool kids are realising that one reality is enough for anyone

By Rupert Steiner

Britons might be the “social networking” champions of Europe but new research being used by some of the world’s largest firms shows a backlash against Facebook and mobile phones in favour of what’s being called “analogue living”.

Young people, under pressure to communicate through so many media channels, still crave their gadgets, but also want some low-tech time out and one-dimensional products.

Pub chains have started re-installing black and white televisions; mobile telephone manufacturers are making handsets that just make phone calls; stressed-out executives are heading to craft fairs, and adult spelling-bee events have become big business in America.

Firms such as Procter & Gamble, Virgin, Nike and Diageo are being told the future is in back-to-basics designs, simplified packaging and linking up with events that used to be totally “uncool”.

The findings come in D-Code, an annual study produced by Henley Centre Headlight Vision (HCHV), a strategic consultancy owned by the advertising giant WPP, which tracks youth culture. Due out at the end of November, the study is considered the manual for future trends. It forms the basis for brand campaigns and new product launches at leading multinationals.

HCHV’s chairman, Crawford Hollingworth, says this year’s findings were unexpected: “Young people’s circuits are overloaded. They can’t keep on top of their email, surf their Facebook, handle their Second Life avatar and upload their Flickr. They find all this technology that is designed to connect them is in fact disconnecting them. They are actually in multimedia meltdown.”

The result is a knee-jerk reaction towards the less sophisticated, as young people seek temporary salvation from the cutting edge. They are being driven to activities reminiscent of their childhood and more familiar with their parents’ generation. Out goes MySpace, PS2s and iPhones, and in comes knitting clubs, craft fairs and cloud appreciation societies.

London’s Notting Hill Arts Club hosts a weekly craft night where young people congregate to drink tea, listen to music and knit together. They find creating something tangible and the sense of nostalgia relaxing.

Others are shunning eBay for some low-tech trading in second-hand garments, swapping unwanted clothes on the dance floor of a London nightclub. At the sound of a klaxon, party-goers at the monthly Swap-A-Rama Razzmatazz night at Favela Chic in London’s Shoreditch place something they are wearing on a washing line strung across the dance floor.

They then put on an item left by someone else, and end the evening leaving in an entirely different outfit. The trick is not to start the night wearing your finest from Prada.

“This is a backlash to auction sites on the web,” explains Liz Chernett, co-editor of D-Code. “It is a playful way to get rid of unwanted clothes – everyone has clothes in perfect condition they never wear. People live in such fast-paced, stressed lifestyles, with fixed definitions of success and an expectation to succeed.

“There is this need to have a counterbalance to stress and anxiety, and this is an antidote to new tech and new media. Young people are looking at the pastimes from their youth when they didn’t live with the same pressures and responsibility.”

And they are not the only ones benefiting from the trend – big business is cashing in with analogue products and campaigns aimed at connecting with the back-to-basics consumer.

Absolut Vodka recently launched a television commercial featuring hundreds of protesters in a stand-off with heavily armoured police. When one of the rioters hurled a cushion over the police line, the crowd erupted into a pillow fight on a scale of children’s dreams all to promote the drinks company’s “In an Absolut World” campaign.

There has also been a rash of print advertisements that involve Blue Peter-style do-it-yourself activities. Sports giant Puma promoted its new Train Away clothing and trainers kit with an advertisement comprising perforations that when separated made hundreds of tiny numbered cards. Put together in order, these formed a flip book that gave the illusion of a runner in Puma gear. This marketing approach was aimed at engaging with the consumer.

But it is not just commercials – the theme has even migrated to do-it-yourself products. Trendy footwear maker F-Troupe created a limited-edition assemble-your-own moccasin.

“Some of the world’s biggest brands are tapping into this,” says Ms Chernett. “Others are bringing out products with retro design and packaging with a low-tech look. But this is not a fight against technology – youths want to be at the leading edge, but they also need a time for back to basics, where analogue living provides some respite.”

The trend is not limited to Britain. Americans have taken the shift to another extreme. In New York there is a cloud appreciation society where groups of adults get together and lie in a park looking at clouds and discussing the different shapes.

In Canada, the Retro Brewing Company has differentiated itself by adopting 1950s styling. Beer is delivered in an old school milk truck and the in-house bar is fitted with a black and white television.

In previous D-Codes, companies were told to associate their products with crime or criminals. This was because public attitudes towards immoral behaviour had softened so much that poster campaigns based around figures such as the Krays gave a product “criminal kudos”.

This year’s report is more about times gone past, and the only criminality firms will need to embrace is to steal some ideas from yesteryear.

I went to ad-tech.com yesterday and I was pretty excited, thinking I was going to meet interesting people, learn a lot about new technologies etc. The expo is huge, I mean 3 floors, sooooo many people in suits, bs’ing, seizing you up and down trying to figure out your spending potential etc. I hate being judged like that.

So, I had a panic attack. A light one nonetheless. I texted my g’friend from Malibu and she had to talk me through it. I also texted my mentor and he gave some good advice, just be myself and breathe. So there I was, I almost wanted to cry and sit in a corner, it was overwhelming.

I learned a few things:

* go prepared, know what you want to get out of this

* re-define what I am about, I mean, there is no point of me explaining about the platform situation. They have no clue and are not interested… all they want to hear is: publisher/ advertiser or  both…

* I am a publisher (my website might have some potential as I can break it down in nationwide - talent/ entertainment to local and specified talent…  so it can be pretty targeted.)

* I am also an advertiser, as I will need to get the word out about TalentGuide.com, now for now, my budget is small, so I am looking for other, more cost effective ways to advertise, I am going GUERRILLA! hehehe.

* Don’t give out your cards unless:

1. he’s hot and you want him to call you directly to ‘talk business’
2. you want to be bombed with unsolicited e-mails and ‘follow up’ calls because you’re so lonely.

* Smile, this should be fun!

Ok, so with this in mind… I am getting ready for day two!

Last night, I went to 3030 and met up with my skater-friends. I went to the Park and learned to get down the step and I bombed three hills. My friend admitted to me that he was impressed as he thought I would chicken out or fall.

 It’s good to know how much faith people have in me.

It was similar to snowboarding, so I had a blast…

Well, I am getting ready…

Ciao.. bing!

The collective knowledge of Wikipedia defines the American Dream as:

Generally refer[ing] to the idea that one’s prosperity depends upon one’s own abilities and hard work, not on a rigid class structure. For some, it is the opportunity to achieve more prosperity than they could in their countries of origin; for others, it is the opportunity for their children to grow up with an education and career opportunities; for still others, it is the opportunity to be an individual without the constraints imposed by class, caste, race, gender or ethnicity. It sometimes includes the idea of owning a home.

 According to a recent Harris Poll, here’s how teenagers described the American Dream:

 ”Simply being happy, no matter what I do” — 47 percent.

“Having a house, cars and a good job” — 38 percent.

“Being able to provide for my family” — 30 percent.

“Having the career of my dreams” — 27 percent.

“Being rich and/or famous” — 20 percent.

“Owning my own business” — 7 percent.

“Being ‘the Boss’ ” — 5 percent.

Fifty-eight percent say a college education is a necessity in order to achieve the dream, with 20 percent of those saying a four-year university degree is mandatory.

While only 3 percent believed they could achieve the American dream on a salary of $25,000 or less, one-quarter thought a $100,000 annual income was sufficient.

In addition, a whopping 71 percent believed they personally can achieve the American dream.

The way this all sounds to me, personally is:

meaning that if you are mentally less blessed than others, grew up in a poor neighborhood with bad schools, have parents that make wrong choices that affect you as a child, happen to get real sick and your job doesn’t cover health insurance, so when you finally do beat cancer, you are stuck with 10 years of salary worth in health bills, trying hard to find a job, and while looking, you cannot pay the rent, resulting in huge debts, trying to cover the bills with those creditcards that companies were eager to give you, you end up on the streets, nobody cares as this country was build on people who had only one thing in mind… TO LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM, and unfortunately… YOU WEREN’T IN IT.

I guess being born and raised in socialist Holland does that to you…. that you think that it’s only natural that everyone should have a roof above their head, that kids are being taught the same shit all over the country, no matter what neighborhood and when you didn’t make the grades, well then you just have to do it again, until you do… that healthcare is something that is accessible and affordable for everyone, same as dental… but then again, we eat a lot more apples than ice cream and burgers, so we have less obesity and better teeth!

“I am easily satisfied with the very best”

the details of your incompetence do not interest me.

I don’t know if it’s the weather, some stress or the hormones, but I am feeling rather melancholic. I realized something was utterly wrong when I started craving hearing Richard Ashcroft’s “Alone Together” album. The whole album reminds me of my ex, our crazy lifestyle, roaming the streets of NYC at odd hours, the crazy shit we did on Times Square, the late night visits to the lovely peep shows on 8th Ave, the late late night dinners @ Blue Ribbon.

*sigh*

this sucks…

SOMEONE PLEASE SMACK ME!

MY HORMONES AND MIND ARE PLAYING TRICKS ON ME!

And I wanted to go
Half my life
And I feel kind of strange
Like I never lived that lifeAnd Im trying hard
To control my heart
And I always want to know
And I always want to goNew york are you tuning in
New york big city of dreams
New york oh what a city
New york are you tuning in

Theres no time to unpack yet
Lets get straight out on the street
And feel no inhibitions
This city was built for me

And my head is full of questions
When did I feel this good
In the arms of my lover
Burning through the night of new york

And its funny how time flies
In the city that never sleeps
Its getting after hours
And Im feeling the heat

Im almost dead and buried
The day nearly done
But I want to keep on going
Im going to kiss the sun in new york

And Im feeling kind of selfish
Ive been busy on your island
Just having my own fun

Its an english tradition
Find some money make some time
Get busy on your island
And slowly lose our minds in new york

WTF??

love the Xanax dispenser though

Woohoo! The dates have been set! I will be heading out West to find my Winter Residence (= room in an overcrowded house, full of pot smoking snowboarders) on November 28th! I am soooooooo excited, my stomach hurts!

I got back from San Francisco last night. I flew Jet Blue, my favorite airline! Unfortunately once again, there was nobody even slightly interesting near me, so I resorted to my anti anxiety pills and passed out for the rest of the 5.5 hr. flight. I mean, even if I would wanna become a member of the mile high club, there is nobody around who I want to have sex with or talk to… what am I supposed to do??

Hahaha, just kidding… I am saving myself for someone really amazing! I hope he’ll come around real quick because it’s been like 6 months now and I am starting to doubt my sexuality or/and sanity. These are my 30’s and I am not feeling it… I hope I didn’t use up all my cards in my twenties… that would be pretty sad.

Today my dad and stepmom had their 25th anniversary. That is pretty amazing. Time flies and I am so happy that they are still together. I have been in a bitch in the past and I am just so glad that they have survived my terror.

Other than that, nothing new, working hard, dreaming harder!

Things seem to have calmed down at home. The wife and I are talking again, so I am very happy about that.

Other than that, been skating, working…. the usual. I have new lottery numbers I will be playing from now on:

4 + 5 + 6 + 13 + 22 + 33

Tomorrow I am going to see Joel Osteen. I am very excited about that. Skating went well last night.

Am even making a small attempt to quit smoking…

Life’s not too bad.

Last night I got a text message from one of skater friends, T.he’s a tall  & handsome Mexican kid. He hasn’t been himself over the last couple of days;  he went on a trip to Philly to declare his ever lasting love to his ex girlfriend, with negative outcome, resulting him going on a little bender… Anyway, if I wanted to come outside and go skate for a while, oh, and he’d buy me some hot chocolate, with marshmallows,  from the newly opened 7-11 store.  Obviously this was an offer I couldn’t refuse…

When I got there he told me what had just happened: a bunch of kids (like 15 or so) had attacked one of his friends and tried to steal their skateboards. The kids claimed they were ‘bloods’ and when they heard the police sirens, they took off, telling my friends that they’ll be back. It’s insane. I mean, I live around the corner from the park. I consider this area safe. It turns out that the projects are just about less than 10 minutes away from here and that’s where those kids live.

So, as I am listening to T. I see the two girls and their mom in the Park again. They are there almost every night, doing their homework, sitting, talking and their mom is watching them, buying them food from the convenience store etc. The girls are like 16 and 17, very proper, nicely dressed, clean brushed hair, no make up, no drugs, alcohol or boyfriends. They are friends with the rest of the skate crew. They are always out late.

Their mom is a kind of in your face type of woman, so she started to talk to me. Turns out she is 7 years older than I am, her daughters go to school in this area/ district. The schools are considered great schools and the girls are on ballet and drama, straight A students. I asked her where she lives. She said some area far far away from where we were and that’s why she is still here, they are waiting for a ride home. Every night. She said she has been looking for an apartment in this area as she doesn’t want her daughters to travel such a far distance to go back and forth to school, by themselves. I totally understand. Point is, she has been saying that for 2 years according to my friends. So my conclusion is that they are homeless. I feel sad, but also very proud and happy that those girls are the best behaved teens in the area. They seem to be much more driven to do better, study hard and make well thought of choices. So I asked the mother if there is anything I can do for her, because she seemed a bit confused and scattered. She needed to use a computer. So I told her she could use my laptop at home. She thanked me and said she would use the one in the hospital, as they know her there very well. The hospital is on the corner of the next block (always convenient). Then I saw her thinking and looking at me and she asked if I could do her a really big favor: Let her girls sleep in my place, so they wouldn’t have to stay up so late. I felt so bad.

I felt bad for a couple of reasons:

* I knew my wife, I mean roommate was not going to be happy that I was taking in two girls in for the night, or anyone for that matter. She is still mad and not talking to me. I felt that if it was up to me, they could stay in my room and I would sleep on the couch for a couple of nights… no prob. It made me sad that I could not just say yes, but had to inform her to sort of ask her permission. I feel bad that she is a mother herself and doesn’t even stop to think or offer a some support to someone who is doing her best and obviously can use some help.

* I felt bad for the mother. I mean, I let the girls sleep in my room, I slept on the couch and my roommate really could not say anything about it. It’s my room and we were quiet and respectful. I felt bad that I couldn’t offer her mom to stay as well. She must be going through such a hard time and she is doing such a great job with her daughters.

So yeah, they stayed here last night and left this morning. I am blessed, and so are you. Everybody should have a place to call home, to have a bed, a roof, especially kids. I feel humbled. My area, 3030 as we call it… is real. I talk to my skaterfriends and they open up about their lives here, their families, or lack thereof and once more I know that I was/am privileged in many ways. From the country I was born in, to the choices my parents made, things I took for granted, nothing was ever enough… then you hear these kids and all of a sudden I feel like I have been living in a big bubble.

It’s not that I feel sorry for them… sorry isn’t the word, I mean we all have sh*t in our lives, it’s up to you how to handle things when it happens, what choices you make to control the damage, to protect yourself and your family… I feel bad that the shit these kids have to deal with is because their parents failed in some ways to make the right choices as parents and therefore putting a huge burden on their childrens shoulders, sending them off to life with a big disadvantage.

I wish more people would care about the people around them.

Just think about it… try to help at least one person a day, be it with a smile, some change, a conversation, opening a door or just by listening and realize that we are all blessed and should be grateful for what we have and use our powers to do good… a small gesture can go a very very long way.

*

OK, it’s been a while, I guess I just didn’t feel like writing anything. This post will be very boring, as I have not much to say.

I am still f*cked up from Wednesday - Thursday - Friday … pretty impressive as it’s Tuesday today! I forgot what it was like to feel like this and I revel in my own misery.

I guess popping airplane pills (read: anti anxiety pills)  like life savers suckers wouldn’t be beneficiary to my overall state of mind either. I mean, I stopped taking them as soon as my family left…. Oops that sounds really messed up. Truth is: My bro and his fiancee were over and stayed in my bedroom, so I had to sleep on the couch and my roommate’s baby was screaming and crying for 2 weeks straight. Those of you who don’t have babies can’t even start to phantom what it does to you. After 4 days of having no more than 1.5 consecutive hrs of sleep… you’ll start thinking bad evil thoughts… Sooo, I found some xanex and I have had the best sleeps. Waking up all fuzzy and nothing really matters… hungry as a horse… Yeah, those were good times. Of course I stopped as soon as I had access to my bedroom again. Which was last Friday. So I guess I am a bit emotional and sort of lifeless because of my short lived habit of popping pills.

So the mom, her b’friend and my bro and his fiancee were over from Holland. We had a great time.

Then my friends from Tahoe called that they were coming down for some party to promote their new line of outerwear and if they could stay in my house. Sure… no problem. I just have to kick out my wife, I mean.. roommate and her kid. So down they went… to Soho, for a short vacation… Needless to say… she was pretty pissed.

Ah well, what can I say… GIVE ME A BREAK!!

I am dealing with her laying in her bed the whole day and the baby freely roaming around, banging on my door, slamming my phone on the floor and crying when I close the door when I have to go to the bathroom… all out! This kid is loud. I tip toe through the house at night not to wake her or the baby up.  She leaves both their bedroom doors open… so they can hear each other and then she gets pissed with me for going to the bathroom and the light shines in her room?? Oh and the other day… I was doing our laundry, there are like 5 pairs of jeans and numerous tracks, socks underwear, shirts, tanks etc. of mine in there (5 days worth of clothes) and her laundry?? 5 pairs of PJ’s?? WTF?? I mean case closed.

Yeah… I guess we need to talk… but not now. I am not feeling it.

The Tahoe people were fun!  We went to the Signal - Grenade- SouthShore Soldiers Party on Orchard Street. I was on my usual (best) behaviour, talking so much smack and I even skated outside, impressing the boys… Or so I thought hahaha.

Ahum, like always good times, so I guess I had a sneak preview for coming Winter. I need to go out more are train myself in handling hangovers… hahaha… just kidding. Oh, my crush from last year, James showed up. He stayed at my place as well. He’s so cute. I told him I had a crush on him at camp. Yeah, what can I say, I was that drunk that night. Of course I would never hurt the boy. Number one, I would be thrown in jail for being a predator, number two the kid’s got a girlfriend.

Business wise: my business partner and I came to an agreement and he’s OUT! I am so glad, we are still friends, no hard feelings… I handled that well. I am waiting for the attorney to draw up some legal notes and I already dissolved the company and accounts affiliated with it. It feels like I am turning the pages and starting a new chapter. The site is finished, am just waiting for him to sign the paper and that’ll be it… (oh and writing 2 checks… one to him and one to the developers)

My myspace boyfriend and I are back ‘on’ again… It’s the safest relationship ever. He keeps me entertained during these long days of work - work - work and some skateboarding, a little jog etc.

Obviously, I still haven’t found a sugardaddy…. I haven’t really been actively searching for one, as my family was visiting and I just have no clue on how to get one. I am sure there must be some books about it… “Finding a Sugardaddy for Dummies”. I will make a mental note to look into it after this posting.

My weight, well after all those xanex inspired meals and drinks, I gained a whopping 8 pounds… but I am working hard to get that down again… So this morning I was back at 127. Seven more to go.

Acne wise, I am going through the break out period while being on Accutane, so I am not a very happy person, but hey, nothing I can’t handle. It’s still nothing like it was before, but I heard that this is what happens in the second month or so.

I have been skating a bunch, getting a bit better, falling a bit harder each day. Yesterday I fell on my side, so it felt like I got punched in the lungs. It was painful, I couldn’t breathe for a couple of seconds, but didn’t cry. My friends asked me in horror if I was ok. “yes” I said with my voice all trembling. What can I say… I took it like a champ.

It’s not easy to be in your pre midlife crisis.

I know that this posting has been one long complaint, tough shit. Tomorrow I will write about flowers and butterflies.

( and… No I do NOT need to get laid, neither am I PMS’ing.)

lyrics L.E.S. Artistes by Santogold

My latest craze: Santogold! Love her music. I came across her because I love her boyfriend’s Trevor Andrew a.k.a “Trouble Andrew” music and I read an interview where he was talking about Santi, so I checked her out and she is rad! I love her style (what style??) and the lyrics to this particular song are wicked!

Santogold on MySpace.com

Here’s Santogold’s bio by ”the forrealz”(by Marco Villalobos)

(more…)

I DON’T WANT TO WORK ANYMORE.

WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE A SUGARDADDY?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Woohoo! I am so excited!

Last night Heavenly got TWO INCHES of snow!

Hahaha, that is more than Holland gets in a year! Well, maybe that’s a bit exaggerated, but when I read that, my stomach moved and I felt a bit nauseous… but in a good way… you know, when you want something so bad and you know that it’s coming…. I don’t know. I just really really got the bug.

So yeah, after last year’s crappy snow season I know this year will be wicked!

Not that I could tell a difference anyway… it was my first season IN the snow on a REAL mountain… You see, Holland is flat and non of my set of parents ever took us out for winter-sports… so it only took 29 years before I saw a real mountain, with real chairlifts and real snow… Needless to say, I was happy as shit just to be there.

My myspace boyfriend that ditched me for the porn-star (more…)

I guess I am having one of those days that you just want to listen to music that takes you back to your childhood/ teenage years…

For me that record happens to be Velvet Underground and Nico, you know, the one with the banana on the cover.

It’s really funny, when I was 12 and knew this album by heart, I had no idea what he was singing about. My step mom did not approve of my choice in music and predicted the inevitable —> I would end up a junkie, she was convinced that I definitely showed all the signs: heavy black eye liner, black clothes, listening to Lou Reed, not wanting to hang out with the prissy kids in my class (I went to Gymnasium and everyone in my class wore polo’s and braids…) and with a mom that liked to throw parties for everybody (I mean everyone, homeless were welcome, business people and her wine club buddies, old people, young people, crazy people, normal people). Those parties were nuts. I remember one time, this artist was over and she wanted to have our living room ‘done over’ by him. He was a graffiti artist… so go figure.   (more…)

What is the world coming to?? If I understand this song correctly, 50 Cent, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland are getting tired - sick - had enough of porn /ography ?

But then again, I am foreign, so I might just be misunderstanding the video + the lyrics…

LYRICS

Woohoo!

I have been working all day, doing some errands outside of my box, I even showered! I feel pretty awesome! As a reward for all my hard work I gave myself a present: the skateboarding tutorial: SKATEBOARDING EXPLAINED!! By Lake Owen top instructor Dan MacFarlane! Watch out! You know where I’ll be tonight!

On the more serious side… I have been pretty pissed off with my business partner and last night I wrote him an e-mail. I don’t know if it was the smartest thing to do… but I couldn’t get in touch with him by phone, so this was the next best thing. Seriously, I sober when I wrote it. Here it goes:

(more…)

Ok, like I mentioned before… I spend way too much time on-line. For some reason I came across this website called Invite Share . It’s a really cute site that lists a lot of (new) websites that are mostly by invitation only.

This one is one I really like:

GLEAMD.COM

It’s a new social bookmarking site created by Matt McInerney, where instead of voting on stories or links, you vote for people based on their bios. Users submit people and enter a short bio for them. The more votes someone gets the the higher they get on a list of recently popular people. Every few days 3 of the recently popular people will be selected and highlighted on the top of the page. We tested the site today.

The idea of Gleamd is to spotlight interesting people who are doing interesting things on the Internet, they say: how useful that proves is debatable. You could also potentially use it to see if a group of strangers find you interesting.

Gleamd is currently in private beta, if you would like an invite sign up on the homepage.

Of course I signed up… hehehe….

ps: sign up too so we can ‘follow’ eachother hahahah!

The amount of information -useless or usefull- that flashes before my eyes on a daily basis is tremendous.

I work from home, on a computer, connected to the internet. I find resources, articles, set up marketing campaigns, update, correct errors, answer emails and register at websites that I find interesting, just for the sake of staying up to date with what is happening in the world of technology and web based applications.

I am going nuts. There really is such a thing as too much information. My head is spinning and I need to snap out of my bitchy mode. I don’t seem to have ‘full thoughts” I think in fragments/ sections and hop from one thought to the other, all while making notes in spreadsheets so I can keep track of everything. My handwriting?? Hahaha, it’s shameful.

I am wearing headphones, so at least I can keep a little music on the background and it helps me get through the motion of copying and pasting info.

Today, I haven’t showered, I brushed my teeth once and my desk is a mess.

Like me.

I hope that one day, I’ll look back at these days and smile, because it was all worth it and I can inspire other people that are in the position that I am in right now…

Woohoo! I stepped on the scale today and I am 128!

12 Down. Only 8 more pounds to go!

I easily fit in my size 28 jeans (no stretch) again (they’re not tight at all! and they were clean )!

I am just soooo relieved! I feel great!

How did I do it?

(more…)

Deep in the bosom of the gentle night
Is when I search for the light
Pick up my pen and start to write
I struggle, fight dark forces
In the clear moon light
Without fear… insomnia
I can’t get no sleep

It’s driving me crazy! 

I can’t sleep!

This is just aweful to a person who is used to be able to sleep anytime anywhere!

No kidding!

Since a couple of days, I can’t seem to ‘turn off the light’  ’till like 3 or 4 am.

It really sucks. So frustrated!

I can’t get no sleep
I can’t get no sleep
I need to sleep, although I get no sleep
I need to sleep, although I get no sleep